In May of last year it had been a year and a half since I was in a relationship. A year and a half of singleness; a year and a half of loneliness; a year and a half of longing; a year and a half of…. Wait a second. What the heck am I talking about? Forget all that and let’s start over.
It had been a year and a half since I was in a relationship. A year and a half of awesomeness! A year and a half of adventure. A year and a half of exciting what-ifs. A year and a half of bravery! Yeah, that’s more like it.
Being a twenty-something year-old in this day and age can be a trying time when you’re single. I had people asking me all the time, “Are you married yet?” as if I’m defined by my relationship status. There was a time in my life when I believed that. You’re only as good as the person you’re with or the person you’re married to. Do you know what those statements are? They’re lies; ugly lies that will keep you from who you are meant to be. I was in a 3 1/2 year long relationship before and I had learned more about who I am while being single than I ever did while in that relationship.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against relationships. I love relationships! And I thank God everyday that I have found my partner in crime; that He sent me a man who keeps up with all this… well let’s face it–craziness of me. Here’s what I don’t love, however. I do not love or appreciate this world telling us that our value or our worth is determined by our romantic relationships. My value and my worth comes from God and God alone.
I am a child of divorce and my parents’ split made me re-evaluate my whole life. Everything I thought I knew about relationships and marriage was a lie. I began that 3 1/2 year long relationship shortly after my mom left. I was vulnerable (in the worst way) and longing for romantic companionship. That is a dangerous combination friends, believe me. I’ve spent most of my life living in fear of being alone. Living in fear of not finding my “soul mate”. This was my absolute biggest fear until June of 2016 when I was reminded that I am so much more that that! YOU are more that that! A month later, I started dating my husband-to-be. It’s funny how God works sometimes. I was finally 100% okay with being single and accepted that I may be single for a lot of years, and in comes Zane. God definitely has a sense of humor.
When I was a single twenty-something year-old woman, I loved life! I had no commitments to any one person and I was free to explore and discover who I was; who God created me to be! My first and only commitment in this chapter in my life was my commitment to God. And now that I’m getting married in 31 days, God is still my first commitment. But now, I have somebody to share this commitment with.
Being single is a blessing, NOT a curse. This is the time in your life when you can take risks and learn new things about yourself. Take this time of singleness as an opportunity to grow. Take this opportunity to invest in people, not just in one person. Live your life to the fullest and live for this day because we are not promised tomorrow. This is when you learn who you are. When you learn who you are, you’ll have that healthy and loving relationship with somebody because you now know who you are and you love who you are.