We are in year 2 of a seven year prison sentence with one of our sons. In year 2 we are seeing an increasingly amount of growth in him! We’ve been through prison sentences with him before but never one this long. But this is what happens when he chose to self-sabotage his life instead of dealing with the shame that has been the voice in his head most of his life. And the secrets that were strangling him. This 7-year sentence from his self-sabotage has cost him quite a bit plus he’s not a young thing anymore to bounce right back into his life.
This is his story to share. As he is putting words to the shame and the secrets he is beginning to put truth into his life. He has started to share some peeks of that with John and I, the parents who took him in at age 12. And he has given me permission to share it with you all. Because this is the beginning of how you live a real brave life–to stop allowing the shame to keep your life a secret.
Just four days ago I listened to a sermon on this very same subject which hit home for me something fierce. It was right on time because a day earlier I had an argument with someone that included a life I once lived, daydreamed of situations I regretted not loving more, giving more or just showing the integrity I know I’m capable of, and thinking of an ex-girlfriend whom I still love but may have ruined our relationship to the point of no return.
These symptoms of nostalgia consumed me to the point of irresponsibility in meeting a few deadlines. In all honesty this has been a bad habit I’ve repeated over a number of years, and only now have put a name to this condition in hopes that in light of this discovery God can continue to mold me into the being who He created me to be.
How could God move new mountains in our lives if we are stuck in the past? Could we be used as vessels for God’s work without a current mentality? Would God add the increase to our growth as believers if we weren’t present at this day and time? Not a chance!
In no way shape or form does nostalgia express love or selflessness. Actually it smells of selfishness at its stingiest level. Furthermore this would indeed block blessings and keep God’s hand away from interceding in our lives.
God, may I remain willing to allow you to move on my behalf creating new memories, accomplishing new goals, and growing in Your word.