Love is Not a Formula

Trust God + Wait on God + Pray + Be led by Scripture = Love for a Lifetime

If only love was so simple.

Have you been trying to simplify love with a formula like this?

But when can God be configured down to a formula? Has any other formula worked in your life?

And bigger question…Do you really want to follow a God who can be a formula which you can control?

Not after I put it that way, right? Because one of the draws to God is the limitlessness. We are loved without limits. God’s intervention into our lives is limitless. There are things we are going to learn on the other side of heaven about how God has continually intervened into our lives—even before we submitted our heart’s to him. With God our lives are not limited to human limitations. We are aware of the supernatural possibilities.

So why do you try to put a formula to your dating life? Duh. It is less vulnerable that way.

Face the truth. Dating is vulnerable. It is you meeting someone new who is trying to figure out who you are. That requires vulnerability. (Unless you are just planning on presenting your botoxed self on these dates. You will now change those plans.) Someone interesting is trying to get to know you.

You should also be living your life in such a vulnerable way that makes you approachable so that someone interesting feels that you are available to be asked out. So that this someone interesting becomes curious to get to know you. No botoxed, shut down, trusting-a-God-of-formulas person gives off the vibe that they are dateable.

So yes. This does mean that you could go on a date with a dud. This does mean that you could go on a date with a great person who in turn thinks you are a dud. This does mean that this person has the ability to break your heart at some time in your relationship.

Brave dating requires vulnerability.

Of course, I’m assuming you discerned the acceptance of this date based on the green lights, yellow lights, and red lights. Wisely do not vulnerably expose yourself to anyone with red lights, and maybe someone with yellow lights. Worthy you is able to discern this. 

A formula such as this one takes you out of vulnerability. It places your vulnerability on a safe God who will certainly give you the desires of your heart.

God is not always safe. God is limitless.

You loving a safe God, you choosing to apply a formula to your dating life is actually you trying to control the outcome.

There is that control problem again. It is so sneaky. Our good-intentioned lives do so often cover up the sneaky little problem we have which is we want some control in the outcome. Fear is at the root of this. Fear lies to us thinking we can control our worlds. Fear becomes normalized (while still rooted in lies) which causes you to believe that your wisdom (still rooted in fear) can keep you safe and prevent bad things from happening to you. Fear lies. Fear also simply wears you out. You exhaust yourself trying to keep up. And you miss out on the limitless adventures of life—and dating can certainly be an adventure! Yes, you may get hurt but you are also an overcomer. Pain does not define you. Pain actually has a Holy Spirit magic way of making you beautiful.

Besides that failed date cannot define you. That broken relationship does not define you. God is the one who defines you and that is limitless. The truth is you have everything inside of you that someone is seeking.

A brave life very often has you taking steps of faith which means giving up the control you desperately cling to. The same is true for a brave dating life.  For your brave dating life.

Do not let your defenses and your excuses keep you locked up in a small world. Bravely living vulnerable is a risk we all have to take if we want to be connected. It will be nice to be connected to that love for a lifetime one day. Trust the limitless God and the journey that happens along the way. All of it being mixed together to make a more beautiful you.