The Difference of Being Single vs. Unmarried. Is There a Difference?

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I realize this is a bit of a play on words, but what do you think of this statement from Myles Munroe from his book, Single, Married, Separated, Life After Divorce, pp. 42-43

There is a difference between being single and being unmarried. Most unmarried people consider themselves to be single. I have been married for almost 25 years, but I am still single. So is my wife. It is our singleness that makes our marriage so successful. The more single we become, the more our marriage improves.

The average person has never been single, even though he or she may be unmarried or divorced. Unmarried means to be without a spouse (so does divorce, in the legal sense), but single means to be all one (alone)—a separate, unique, and independently whole individual. Many marriages fail because people get married before they become single. They latch onto a spouse, identifying themselves with someone else before they have come to terms with their own identity. They marry expecting marriage to make them single. In other words, lacking a personal sense of completeness, they look to marriage to make them whole persons.

People who are truly single don’t pursue marriage; they are whole and complete without it. Unmarried people who are not single can’t wait to get married. They think about it all the time, they dream about it, they talk about it; they are always running after somebody to marry them. A truly single person does not even have a desire for marriage.

Adam, the first human being, was single, but he was also unmarried. In his single state, he not only had no interest in marriage, he did not even know about marriage. As God had created him, Adam was complete and fulfilled within himself and his relationship with God. He had no knowledge that he needed anybody else. His whole, fulfilled singleness was the foundation God laid for the entire human race. Singleness, therefore, is the fundamental building block for all human relationships.

So what are your thoughts to this bold statement? I would love to know. Please leave them in the comments.

This is definitely a brave dating sort of thinking . So before I comment and blogize, I’d like to hear from you. Did you get a strong reaction? Please tell us about it.

I can’t resist adding this one statement to it:  Some people believe that when you marry, you have solved the problem of being alone. However some of the loneliest people in the world are in marriages.

Ready. Set. Go. Comment.

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