Dear beautiful girl,
Your beauty hasn’t changed. Though I know that you feel that it has because you are no longer loved like you thought you were beautiful. I know. You are still beautiful.
I know there are no words to describe the amount of pain you are in right now. I hope my words help…some.
Nothing in your shattered world makes sense anymore because you don’t even know what happened. Was it something you said or did? Did you ruin everything? Why did things have to get so bad? Why can’t you just stop thinking about him? Why does it hurt so much every day? Every morning?
I know how terribly painful it must be to wake up in the morning thinking of the one person you love, knowing that they may never think of you the same way. I know how much it hurts to wake up with the realization that you will never be his first choice. It is so painful to see him enthusiastically talk to every other girl knowing that you will never be that girl again.
Everyone wants to help you heal. Your friends give you those looks of concern and they try to talk to you. But you know that they can’t help because no one can help heal your broken heart except for the boy you are crying over.
You want to talk to him. Not talking to him is adding to the pain because you can feel the connection between the two of you being stretched thinner and thinner as each day passes. Your fear is that one day he won’t even remember who you are. You know that you will never forget him.
You feel as though there is nothing to do but to cry and to wait for the pain to go away because every time you think of him, or see something that reminds you of him, you can feel your stomach turning inside out and you feel like you can’t breathe. You don’t think time is ever going to heal this.
Mornings are bad. But the nights are worse. It is at night when your mind really starts down the road of “what ifs.” These keep you up at night. You need to sleep. You want to sleep this pain away. Yet your mind won’t let you.
You can’t stop loving him. You can’t just stop the way you feel no matter how much this is hurting you and you are drowning and suffocating from all of the love you have for him .
People say they are praying for you. You have tried to pray, especially during those long nights. You just don’t know anymore. Prayer…God…doesn’t make sense. I know.
I wish I could tell you that what you are going through will stop and that things will get better soon but I can’t because my heart hurts too and I’m still trying to figure out how to be okay again.
My life doesn’t make sense right now. I know yours doesn’t either. You are not alone. Really. And deep deep deep down I still believe that God will make sense out of this pain. I do believe that. I will believe that for you too.
Another broken-hearted girl