Flowers are beautiful. You are beautiful. Because you have grown through your dirt.

Have you noticed that there are two sorts of people when it comes to pain? There are those who have had the worst of life given to them yet they continue to live bravely and overcome and not let their past define them. And then there are those who may or may not have had a lot of crap to overcome but almost seemed determined to not progress past the first chapter of their lives.

We all have dirt to grow through. Some of us more than most. Some of it feels to be a very unfair level of crap. Yet you can grow through it.

Growth looks like this Poem of Growth which we did a whole series on (read it!):

I walk down the street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place,
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I see where I am.
It’s my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

(Written by Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery.)

Yes, growth is bumpy. Growing requires transitioning to something new. There is pain involved in that. At a minimum there will be lots of discomfort. But for some (you?), the pain becomes familiar and is your new stuck stage.

What makes some people hold on to that first chapter of their lives and allow it to define them and yet others choose to grow and improve their lives? I wish the answer was something simple like “Jesus” but even some Christians choose to live as victims still.

The real answer is control. When you are a perpetual victim, the past is in control of your present. When you are an overcomer, the present is controlled by your choices, in spite of the real pain of your past.

Yes, it does feel easier to hold on to the certainty of your pain rather than take the risk to trust anyone ever again. This certainty feels like the control you need in your out-of-control and painful world. You didn’t create all of this pain. You painful story is real. But does that story have to define the rest of your life?

Does that story have the power to excuse the pain you are causing in those whom you love today?

Even flowers have to grow through dirt. Grow.

To be an overcomer sound so brave. So scary. It is. Painful work is involved. Discomfort is involved. Time is involved. Vulnerability is involved. You will most certainly fall flat on your face at least once.

You can choose bravery or you can choose controlled comfort but you can’t have both. One will bring you joy like you’ve never experienced before.

You are not the fruit of your experiences.
You are the flower of what you make of and do with those experiences.
You are not what has been done to you.
You are who you choose to do for and with others today.

We need more flowers in this world. We need the broken beautiful.

Dirt is just dirt—until it becomes what grows you into a flower. God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul! Genesis 2:7 MSG.

Why do I continually mention a relationship with God as part of a brave life? Because life is a broken road of faith. It is hard. With God you have a chance to know that you are loved therefore you are worthy and valuable. You were purposed before you understood you were purposed. Second, Christian values give you direction to know how to live better and resist temptation. Temptations—with their immediate gratification–are attractive to people with pain and rage. Third, a Christian perspective is outward-focused vs. a victimhood perspective which is inward-focused. With the love of a God who pursues you it is hard to remain a victim to your life. You desire to overcome.

Grow. Be brave. Remember that oft-quoted quote from George Carlin, “I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so f—-n’ heroic.”

Some of your dirt is concrete. Yet…you get to own the ending of your story. You may even be considered heroic.