Maybe Coffee is Just Coffee (And Not Your Love of a Lifetime)
Remember that Brave Dating is dating to discover who you are. The result of this learning process will then lead you to a good match to give you that love for a lifetime you desire. Thus the coffee date is very much a part of this practice of Brave Dating.
The coffee date wasn’t around when I was dating. Or if it was I wouldn’t have noticed as I don’t drink coffee. Nor have I adapted to another sort of drink from the plethora of “Fourbucks” places there are. Thus I also don’t frequent the many cool locally-owned coffee shops—many of whom I’m sure I would love to support because I believe in entrepreneurism and the causes many of them have integrated into their business plan. But I would have to like coffee—and even like the coffee smell which I don’t—to support them as I wish I could.
But as for the rest of the population, including the many 12-year olds who now drink coffee (often sugary cream with a little bit of coffee), a coffee date is the great location to meet with people to discover who you are. (12-year olds are not allowed to date.)
Any coffee shop location is almost always designed to be conducive for conversation. Two coffees, and maybe a snack, are on the budget-side for meeting with someone new. The length of time a coffee and conversation takes allows for an easy exit if things aren’t going well. If things are going well, it can turn into a dinner with a walk from the coffee shop. The public location of a coffee shop makes it a safe public meeting place. Thus you have the “coffee date.”
Understand though that it is still a coffee date. It is still meeting someone new to discover who you are and thusly get to know someone, do something fun, and with no pressure.
Do not make this coffee date something greater than that. Do not romanticize this coffee date to be “the place” where you first met and started your story. It may become that but you don’t know that on this first coffee date. Take the pressure off. Enjoy simply meeting with someone interesting. Enjoy.
Be brave.
p.s. Women please stop thinking that men should be romantic in the beginning of a dating relationship. This is too much pressure and then both parties get disappointed. Men, save the romance for the “middle” part of dating. Won’t that be fun to surprise her with that part of you then?!!!
p.s.s. You may have to go on a lot of coffee dates to find your prince (or princess). It’s better than kissing frogs. Fact is every one you date is going to be the wrong one until he/she is.
(Capture this image and share.)
Comments
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
[…] Maybe Coffee is Just Coffee (And Not Your Love of a Lifetime) […]
[…] and more you as you get this opportunity to learn about this person. That sounds like a great coffee date to […]
[…] also encourage the women to bravely ask for a coffee date after they get several favorable responses in messages. We don’t wait around for the guy to do […]
[…] find that handsome prince. (Though you don’t need to kiss everyone you date, particularly on thosecoffee dates.) I subscribe wholly to Dr. Henry Cloud’s stance that you don’t date to lead to marriage. You […]
[…] is put on when you think the person you are dating is someone you would consider marrying. Now that coffee date is no longer just coffee but becomes the first of a supposed grand love story that will supposedly […]
[…] boy DTRs the relationship. This is what the whole coffee date is about. (This is not our idea of a coffee date.) The purpose of this coffee date for the boy is to go over his rules (which are boundaries which […]
[…] Let them. These people know you and love you. Yes, the set up match may not be a click but so what. Coffee is just coffee, right? When the true you is involved in your church family, these people who love you only want […]
[…] Be brave. One of my favorite (and most-used) Dr. Brene’ Brown quotes is “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” You are worthy of a good match. Bravely walk into this vulnerability. It is just a date after all. This date does not define you. The fail of this date does not define you as unlovable. It is just a date. Maybe even just a coffee date. […]
[…] and more you as you get this opportunity to learn about this person. That sounds like a great coffee date to […]
[…] is after the coffee date or after several coffee dates. When you are ready to take this person you are getting to know on a […]
[…] hopefully will be going on many coffee dates, how do you want to be remembered after one of those coffee dates? How do you want that other person to remember you? This may or may not lead to a second date. That […]
[…] for setups. Just get a coffee with that setup. Listen to your team members before and after this coffee date. There is much you […]
[…] dating is dating to discover who you are. A coffee date is a date at a safe location to meet with dates to discover who you are. You don’t have to risk […]