Maybe Coffee is Just Coffee (And Not Your Love of a Lifetime)

Remember that Brave Dating is dating to discover who you are. The result of this learning process will then lead you to a good match to give you that love for a lifetime you desire. Thus the coffee date is very much a part of this practice of Brave Dating.

The coffee date wasn’t around when I was dating. Or if it was I wouldn’t have noticed as I don’t drink coffee. Nor have I adapted to another sort of drink from the plethora of “Fourbucks” places there are. Thus I also don’t frequent the many cool locally-owned coffee shops—many of whom I’m sure I would love to support because I believe in entrepreneurism and the causes many of them have integrated into their business plan. But I would have to like coffee—and even like the coffee smell which I don’t—to support them as I wish I could.

But as for the rest of the population, including the many 12-year olds who now drink coffee (often sugary cream with a little bit of coffee), a coffee date is the great location to meet with people to discover who you are. (12-year olds are not allowed to date.)

Any coffee shop location is almost always designed to be conducive for conversation. Two coffees, and maybe a snack, are on the budget-side for meeting with someone new. The length of time a coffee and conversation takes allows for an easy exit if things aren’t going well. If things are going well, it can turn into a dinner with a walk from the coffee shop. The public location of a coffee shop makes it a safe public meeting place. Thus you have the “coffee date.”

Understand though that it is still a coffee date. It is still meeting someone new to discover who you are and thusly get to know someone, do something fun, and with no pressure.

Do not make this coffee date something greater than that. Do not romanticize this coffee date to be “the place” where you first met and started your story. It may become that but you don’t know that on this first coffee date. Take the pressure off. Enjoy simply meeting with someone interesting. Enjoy.

Be brave.

p.s. Women please stop thinking that men should be romantic in the beginning of a dating relationship. This is too much pressure and then both parties get disappointed. Men, save the romance for the “middle” part of dating. Won’t that be fun to surprise her with that part of you then?!!!

p.s.s. You may have to go on a lot of coffee dates to find your prince (or princess). It’s better than kissing frogs. Fact is every one you date is going to be the wrong one until he/she is. 


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