Dating is Fattening

I mean that title literally. This is my loving warning to you.

A big part of dating is coffee and meals together. Coffee and food provides the perfect ambience to get to know another person. The perfect ambience to have deep conversations. The perfect ambience to make memories together. (Taste is our second strongest sense in forming memories. Smell is our first. Food tastes and smells soooooo good.)

I hope you have learned by now how fattening those fancy coffee drinks are. That is a lot of calories we are drinking and not chewing. As for the food, you know the battle. When you are on dates you tend to go to better restaurants. You definitely eat out more than when you were single, You tend to order a cocktail before the dinner more. And because you are so blissfully happy you order dessert more. Maybe it is a dessert to share (which is sooooo cute) but you are still eating more dessert than you ever would allow yourself normally.

Then especially for us Christian daters, we wisely try to find things to do out so we don’t have a lot of alone time with that one who is making our hearts so happy. Ending every date on the couch lamely watching Netflix is not an ideal plan for so many reasons: it’s lame, conversations happen less, and alone time can lead to temptations you are begging God to help you overcome. So going out to restaurants and going for walks but always stopping for that ice cream becomes a very big part of your dating life.

Have you read those websites about the calories of restaurant food? Even if you order the salad?

But because you are so happy, you keep on ordering restaurant food. Dating this wonderful match is such a great time in your life that you want to celebrate it with good food.

Plus the time you used to devote to working out (if you ever did) you now have less of because you are dating.

You will gain weight as you are happily dating.

What you do with that information is up to you. I went through it. I have advised every couple I’ve coached and they have gained weight anyway. Deal with it. Expect it. Make a plan for after you are married (if this is the love of your lifetime) for both of you to lose the weight together. Stop thinking you will lose the weight for your wedding dress to fit better. Don’t add that stressor to your relationship amongst all of the wedding plans. This weight gain is part of the story of your beginning.

You also can make wiser food choices amongst this joy too. This is preparing you for a lifetime of making those wiser food choices.  Welcome to growing up (can’t change this reality)!

Note: If you are dating someone and you are losing weight because of anxiety, because he tells you that you are fat, or you believe the lie that he will love you more if you are thinner, end the relationship. Now. You are not with a good match. Losing weight during dating is a clear sign of a bad—maybe even destructive—match.

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