On Father’s Day I was privileged to preach to our church family. Part of what I shared is about my infertility which led to the best Father’s Day sermon subtitle ever, “How I Made John a Father.” I shared with our church family the very short version of how John and I became parents.

I did not have the words nor the time that Sunday to share how this decision has changed my life…redefined my life. Becoming a mom to these boys is the best decision I have ever made.

I share often here at Bravester about the pain of that decision. I’ve never had my heartbroken so much. I can’t believe how much I know about the State of Virginia prison system. I’m grateful that my heart breaks for #BlackLivesMatter because I know this fear that is all too real…for me. I know that #drivingwhileblack is real. I also know the joy of seeing one of my sons “get” how much God loves him. I love seeing that light turn on when they realize they can have a better future than the generations behind them. I love the gratefulness my sons have as they approach each part of their lives. I have changed a lot. I am a better person. My heart has been smashed more than once but I also know I love the person I’ve grown into being. I love that this is my life quote because I have lived this life quote:

“The brokenhearted are indeed the bravest among us—they dared to love, and they dared to forgive.” –Dr. Brene Brown, Rising Strong

I love that on Father’s Day I got this picture. That is my son and his two children.

And I got this picture. That is another son and one of his children. (Both wives sent me these pics–they know what gives me the most joy!)

These are the pictures of my brave and vulnerable decisions and they bring me such joy. This is the why of it all.

Then I got this text from one of the boys for my birthday, “God bless the day you were born.”

This is my brave life. And it is good. A brave life means we can write our own daring endings. These pictures of “good fathers” is the daring ending I wished for them. For me too. These pictures define my life. I am so proud and had to share.

Worth every smashed heart moment I’ve had.

p.s.  And yes, I’ve converted one grandchild to be a Minnesota Vikings fan. Working on the rest!!! Worth every smashed heart moment I’ve had. Two out of 5 are so far!