Tis the Christmas season again. And you are single again. You are free to keep on ranting. You are free to also express some anger at God. This is because you are trusting God.

(This meme has been one of my truest life statements.)

Also pat yourself on the back for not being in a bad match this Christmas season. For not settling or contorting yourself to have someone around. Dating is not the kind of relationship that cures loneliness.

As you face being single again for another Christmas season, you’re already feeling both the joy and the dread of the coming Christmas season—and honestly, that makes sense. You get the beauty of it, but you also know how quickly it can slip into loneliness, a mush of emotions, or regret. You get both. The good news?

You don’t have to repeat the regrets of Christmas past.

This year, you can make some brave decisions  that will help you get ahead of the emotional fallout.

Life will still happen. Those unexpected moments, the expectations that aren’t met, and family dynamics. Christmas doesn’t remove this stuff. But there’s more in your control than you think. You can soften some of the hard moments simply by making some brave decisions now.

You can prevent some of those bad moments by:

• Planning better and setting honest mental expectations.
• Having clearer, more truthful communication with the people around you, especially your gift of people. Let them know you are mixing things up this year to not repeat last year.
• Letting go of pressure to keep every family tradition or to accept every invite,
• Not overloading your calendar, especially if you are in introvert.
• Intentionally thanking everyone for the invites, even the ones you decline.
• Reevaluating your holiday “musts.”
• Shifting your focus from what you lack to what you already have.
• Setting a simple budget so money-stress doesn’t steal your peace.
• Deciding ahead of time what emotional boundaries you need with those people.
• If three days is all you can bear with your family as the only single child or single cousin, limit your visit to three days.
• Creating a few Christmas-themed life-giving rhythms, like quiet mornings, walks, or prayer pauses.
• Making room for rest—actual, real rest.
• Feeling your emotions. Remember that all emotions move you towards God.
• Letting go of the myth that more makes Christmas meaningful.
• Choosing one or two things that genuinely bring you joy and make space for them. Invite your gift of people to celebrate those with you. Make your special Christmas memories here.
• Practicing gratitude in small, specific ways.
• Remembering what Christmas is truly about.

One more thing I want to rant about again. There is the dreaded question that happens more at Christmas time. It is, “why are you single? Someone will rudely ask you this. You don’t have to answer. Married people don’t ask or answer the question, “why are you married?” The person who is asking is too often asking as if something is wrong with you. No wonder you have to make these brave decisions, it’s because of these people.

It is rude. Unless it’s coming from that cute single guy or gal who asks, “Why are you single?” but really means, “How is someone as great as you still single? Lucky me.”

Who knows what magic will happen this Christmas season. It will already be better than last year.