I got this meme from a wonderful brave woman who is not this way anymore. (She’s a great catch too!) It is something we can laugh at now. A lot of healing has happened—all to the glory of Jesus as the healer. I love her story so much.

I clipped this list from an email I receive daily from Dr. Henry Cloud. This one is dated April 10, 2019. I think it is a wise list.

Unsafe people …

• Think they have it all together instead of admitting weakness.
• Defend themselves when confronted instead of being open to feedback.
• Are self-righteous or falsely humble instead of being genuinely humble.
• Rarely apologize and own their actions, but when they do, the apology is not followed by a change in behavior.
• Go to great lengths to avoid looking at (much less working on) their problems.
• Demand trust instead of understanding trust is earned.
• Do not admit fault and will make statements such as, “I am sorry you feel that way.”
• Blame others and work hard to assign blame to their situations instead of taking responsibility.
• Lie and manipulate.
• Are stagnant and show little to no signs of growth.

Are you dating someone who is on this list? Do you feel yucky in your gut right now? Good. And I’m sorry. You are why I saved this list.

When we are dating someone who has some red lights, there are times our gut lets us know that we are aware of them. Sometimes we are blessed enough to have friends who will let us know. But then we play this little game with ourselves (and only ourselves). We remember the good parts of this person, and the good shared life you’ve had together, and you fall back “in love” with him/her again. But you are not in love with a real person. You are in love with the made-up person you’ve created. You never make the ending because you feel like you are losing something wonderful. But this person you are really in love with does not exist.

Will a list written by a wise and researched man help you?

May that truth in your gut be enough this time to move you to do that brave thing and end this unsafe relationship.

You may want to read also: How Many Lies Will You Accept As Being Okay in This Relationship?

You may want to read also: Behaviors That Should Not Be Excused for Too Long in the Beginning of a Relationship