Lies We Tell Ourselves to Stay in a Relationship

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I am different than the others. (Yes, you are but how does that mean you get to be mistreated in this relationship?)

He’s/She’s thinking about me. (So. You are the reason for his/her bad behavior because he/she is thinking about you?)

I am more important to him/her. (There is that comparison and choosing to live in scarcity.)

The others didn’t know how to treat him/her. (Oh really?)

I love him more than the others did. (Scarcity again)

I am better than his/her last relationship. (So. You may be but does that make him/her better for you? Is this why you should allow yourself to be mistreated?)

I am the best he/she has ever had. (So. You are but does that make him/her better for you?  Is this why you should allow yourself to be mistreated?)

The others weren’t as nice as me. (So. You are but does that make him/her better for you? Is this why you should allow yourself to be mistreated?)

The others weren’t as cute as me. (So. Your value depends on your cuteness. Something so temporary? You’ve got bigger issues.)

He’ll/She’ll be nicer to me. (Really? He or she is going to be nicer to you because of why? Isn’t he or she the same person who dated other people he or she was mean to?)

He/She is sweeter to me than he/she was to the others. (Really? You want to continue to be valued by a comparison to the others?)

I know him/her better than the last relationship did. (Really? You know this how? So maybe you shared a deeply emotional time together and you feel that he or she has truly opened up. Or maybe that was a one-time moment and you happened to be there. An emotional time together is not a foundation to build a relationship on.)

He/She has the power to be better because I love him/her so much. (You are dating someone who needs to be better? I understand that broken people date broken people but how is your love going to fix his/her brokenness?)

It’s not his/her fault. (Who did those actions then?)

He’s/She’s different this time.  (Unless you have some serious accountability and some counseling, there is not a chance he/she is different this time.)  

I will change him/her. (Danger!)

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