We believe in this core principle, “Live your life to the full bravely following after Jesus. Now. As you are living bravely, who is keeping up with you? That is the match for you.” So how do you get asked out by lots and lots of people? You live your life to the full. When you are living your life to the full you will be mixing with lots of people. People who will notice you not because of your clothes or your style but because of how you are living your life. If you are living your life to the full you are probably doing attractive things—things that attract other people probably because you look so strong. Or so passionate. Or so smart. All of those things make you look good! So live your life to the full. Now.
Here’s how to get started. What do you find that you are passionate about? Pray about this. Then search how you can get involved. It can be something with your church. It can be something outside of your church. You are needed somewhere. So get involved.
Note: Your vulnerability is going to be pushed here. If you have a passion for something, you are making yourself vulnerable. The more you get involved in this something, you are going to see systems that do not work, people who get left behind, hearts that are broken. This is going to break your heart. This is going to make you want to go back to a life before when it was safe and sanitized. Don’t. Follow your heartbreak. “Heartbreak is not a mistake. It’s not a problem. Heartbreak is a holy gift–an invitation from God. Heartache is a signal to you that you’ve stumbled upon something worthy of your life.” (Glennon Doyle Melton).
This is attractive. Not your actual broken-heart. But your involvement in trying to make the world a better place with your blood, sweat and tears.
As well as getting involved in something that you are passionate about, also become a good neighbor where you live. Say hi to your neighbors. Get to know their names. Work up to exchanging even a few sentences with them. Nurture these neighborly relationships. Pray for these neighborly relationships. Ask God to show you what you can do to be a good neighbor. Then listen to the unique ways God will open up for you to be a good neighbor and do the little things. Live daily with the expectation of God surprising you with ways to be a good neighbor. This can be fun! And vulnerable again.
This is attractive too.
While you are living such a full and purposed life, you are going to meet a lot of people. Some single. And some good people who know good single people. Ask these good character people out, or say yes when you are asked out. Say yes when some of these good people want to set you up with their good single people. Whatever the situation is, say yes. Do not limit yourself to a type. Just say yes to the person of good character and give him or her a chance.
That is how you get asked out by lots and lots of people. It takes you being exposed to lots and lots of people. It helps you find those people of good character when you are choosing to be involved in good character things. One of our Brave Dating Practices is to get involved with your church. And it also takes someone to do the asking and someone to do the yessing. This is a combo deal.
Then go on a coffee date. Talk about it with your team. What did you learn about you on that coffee date? Share this with your team. That is going to be a good conversation.
Then maybe there will be a second date. Or maybe not. Remember that if there is no second date that it is not a rejection of you. It just wasn’t a match. That’s all. And because you have such a full and purposed life, there will be a chance for more coffee dates.
So that is how to get lots and lots of dates. And maybe get to do some fun things. And get a good story or two.
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