The Mask You Wear and Your Destiny

(Listen…your destiny is still crying out in your soul.)

We all have thousands of reasons for wearing a mask. But if you can find the bravery to take it off—at least with your gift of people—you will find that ache of destiny arising out of your soul.

Who are your people and why your people? Read the many articles linked below. With your gift of people with you, even your unhealthy church of good intentions, life can be manageable. (This is my story too.)

When your mask comes off, your shame can heal.

When shame speaks:  “My guess is, I stopped believing God had anything significant for me. That there are certain people whose lives count and I’ve compromised or squandered my talents enough that nothing significant would ever happen to me.”

But healed shame feels like:  “It’s like answering your front door to discover that beautiful high school girlfriend you thought rejected you is now standing there, all these years later, telling you she’s still in love.”

Those quotes come from p. 83 of this book, The Cure. It is a clever parable story that teaches layers and layers of what our faith as a Christian is. Check out the teaching series by me which you can use as a small group series.

We all can dream about what healed shame feels like! This is a scenario we sometimes even dream about. There is something about first love.

When we allow ourselves to dream again, what too often follows are the overwhelming and self-sabotaging questions of how can shame be healed? How can I feel this way again?

Because there was a time we did feel this way. When we were younger. You knew you were created for something special. It was breathed into you at birth and you knew it.

Then life broke you.

Every once in a while you now feel that ache that you were created for something special but you press it back down. You’ve compromised too much. You squandered your talents. That moment has passed you by. It is too late.

It is not too late. In God’s world it is not too late. Your reconciliation to God also reconciles you back to the destiny you were born with.


These are some notes on destiny, not from my wisdom. More wisdom from this book, The Cure, all found on pp. 85-86.

  • “Destiny is what happens when those God-given desires, mixed with my particular gifting, are allowed to be healed, matured, and released to freely give away. This is where this whole book has been heading.”
  • “Destiny is the ordained intention God has sacredly prepared with your name on it.” When you read that did something ache inside of you? Because you’ve always known that no matter how much life has broken you, no matter how “crazy busy” or numbed or distracted you have kept your life, your life was made for something more?
  • “Don’t be afraid of this feeling of matching up with your destiny.” Something is awakening inside of you.  
  • When our worldview shifts to enjoying Jesus rather than focusing on not sinning, we mature. In the process of maturing, our eyes open to others and we become aware of many more opportunities to love than when we focused on our issues.” The parable story is about two rooms, The Room of Good Intentions and the Room of Grace. One keeps you busy with sin management, one matures you. (Read the book! Have a small group with our video series!) Can you guess which one helps you enjoy Jesus?
  • “Unhealed wounds require our attention and we will have trouble focusing on others while those wounds still need attention.”
  • “Mask-wearing will never get us to our destiny. Masks keeps us self-centered, immature, and unavailable to others.”
  • “God’s goal for each of us is never simply healing or safety or rest or even receiving love. His goal is that we’d be released into the sense of purpose we haven’t been able to shake all of our lives.” You deeply know this, right? This just pinged that ache again, right?
  • “We’re also learning to live with a community of people who trust God and others with what is true about them. We discover we’re part of a destiny bigger than our own. While we have an individual destiny, the community we are a part of also has a destiny, and we are intertwined with it.”

Has this ache been reawakened enough to set you in a direction of healing? I hope you have been brought to a crossroads where you recognize this ache and this ache allows you to ask the hard questions and to be open to someone other than yourself for the answers. That you will call out to God because he drew you to this crossroad.

At this crossroad you will find this choice. “I’m staring at this intersection, like this could make it go away. That’s when I notice the tall pole with two arrows at the top pointing down each fork. What’s written on them is even more confusing than the fork. One arrow, pointing left, reads Pleasing God. The one leading right reads Trusting God. You’re kidding. I’m supposed to choose between these two?”

That is from page 2 of The Cure. Ask the questions and just walk forward. (That’s from the end of the book).

It is not too late.

And take off that heavy and uncomfortable mask. Because only that mask is receiving love. (That’s from the book too.)

Bonus reading on how to find your people:

The Gift of People

But People…You Still Need the Gift of People

People are a Part of Spiritual Formation

The Connection Needed So the Rest of Your Life is Manageable

I Need to Be in a Relationship with Somebody Vulnerable

These Are the People You Want in Your Brave Life

The Women Who Stayed

And of course, this book I Wish I Could Take Away Your Pain. This is my story (though in small book size) about my people who carry my pain. Includes 3 pages of those things you don’t want to do.


New Bible Study:  Trust Issues with God With Video

Life is unfair. When the unfair thing happens, we look for a reason, a solution, a purpose, justice. These are all things we expect from God. When God doesn’t deliver when we expect or need him to, there is a gap in our understanding of who God is. This Bible study is to help you fill in that gap with trust over suspicion by exploring the truths of the Bible, both individually and in a group setting.

Order here: