The Numbing Lie of Crazy Busy
What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.
Crazy busy is a numbing behavior.
For you it is the schedule of your life. Being overextended on your calendar, being crazy busy is how you schedule everything. This is the pace of your life and you validate that this is just the way it is. But does it have to be?
I know. You’ve already been “lectured” on this. You live with your shame. You live with what you wish could be.
I’m daring to present a new look at this.
Research from Columbia, Georgetown, and Harvard has found that “busyness” is an actual way people signal their importance—and that marketers are responding to it. Ugh, marketers have found another way to take advantage of you.
“Luxury goods are losing signaling value” as more people can afford them. Talking about a scarcity of time is “a more nuanced way to display (importance) that doesn’t go through conspicuous consumption. It’s implicitly telling you that ‘I am very important, and my human capital is sought after, which is why I’m so busy.’” –Silvia Bellezza, professor of marketing at Columbia University and co-author of the study. Source.
So now you don’t need to have that new Coach bag to signal your importance. You can just tell us how busy you are so you get the same affirmation. What a crazy world full of scarcity we live in!
You know it because you feel this. Think back over your last week. When did you imply to some others how busy you were in the hopes that you would get their admiration and feel like a “somebody?”
Sadly we have those good girl or good boy voices that drive us. We will continue to try hard and to do right and to work tirelessly until we come to a place of recognizing that we can never do enough. This is often in the form of a painful crash.
When did maintaining a full and balanced life become not enough? I’ll the leave the answer for that one to philosophers and researchers. The question makes my point enough.
Not only should crazy busy not be a definer of who you are, crazy busy becomes a numbing behavior because you are keeping up this unhealthy pace to outrun that “something” you don’t want to feel. To keep that pace of a schedule is actually justified because the lie of is it is making you into a somebody.
The truth is it is only making you tired. And so much less connected. You may have the appearance of a somebody but does anybody know you?
Teaser question about something even deeper:
What is the difference between being in a community of “nice” people versus a community of “real” people? At this time in your life, which one do you prefer? Why?
In Italy leisure time is the mark of a good life, not busyness. Let’s move to Italy!
Since that is not possible for most of us, let’s decide to live a braver life recognizing that worthiness is our birthright. That we are enough so we are going to listen to our bodies and maintain a regular rhythm in our schedules so we can be fully present in every task and every relationship.
That is a part of a brave life. Be brave.
Read also: The Morning Prayer of the One Who Already Feels Behind
(photo credit: http://tspr.org/post/overscheduled-family)
Read the book
A small book about being the people that hurting people need.
“This is the book that I wish I had had for people in my life that have suffered and needed me to be that compassionate friend. This is the book that I wish others in my life had read before they dismissed my pain, or compared it to theirs, or stumbled horribly through trying to lessen my pain because it was actually really about THEM not feeling comfortable with it.”
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