Even in the shock that your life is no longer what you planned, you need to start making some brave decisions. One of those brave decisions is who are you going to listen to when the next step isn’t clear to you at all.

Guest writer: Toni Thrash

I never expected to become an expert on starting over.

For twenty-five years, I was a wife. Then I became a divorced woman. At nearly the same time, I became an empty nester. The house grew quiet. The routines that had shaped my days disappeared, and the future I thought I understood was suddenly gone.

People often talk about starting over as though it is an exciting opportunity. Sometimes it is. But first, it can feel frightening, lonely, and deeply disorienting. I did not wake up one morning ready to build a brand-new life. I did not have a clear vision, a five-step plan, or an inspirational quote strong enough to carry me through it.

At first, I was simply trying to survive.

Looking back, I can now see that my transition unfolded in three distinct seasons: Shock, Limbo, and Reentry.

Shock was the season when I could barely process what had happened. I was functioning, but I was not fully living. I was doing what needed to be done while trying to understand how the life I had known had changed so dramatically.

Then came Limbo. Limbo was the long, uncomfortable space between what had ended and what had not yet begun. I was no longer the woman I had been, but I did not yet know who I was becoming.

That season tested me.

I had to learn how to make decisions on my own, trust myself again, face loneliness, rebuild my confidence, and stop believing that uncertainty meant I was failing.

Eventually, I entered Reentry. Reentry did not mean that every problem disappeared. It meant I was ready to participate in my life again. I began to recognize my strengths, make plans for my future, and believe that something meaningful could still be built from what remained.

That journey became the foundation for my book, Start Your Comeback: Tackling What’s Next with a Winning Game Plan.

As a former basketball and tennis coach, I know that a comeback does not happen because a player stands on the sidelines hoping the game will change. A comeback requires honesty about the current score. It requires adjustments, practice, support, courage, and a willingness to get back into the game.

The same is true in life. You may not have chosen your transition. You may be walking through divorce, empty nesting, retirement, grief, a career change, or the loss of a future you believed was certain. You may be standing in the middle of Limbo, wondering why you cannot move forward faster.

But Limbo is not failure.

It is often where you begin learning the skills you will need for the life ahead.

I wrote Start Your Comeback for the woman who knows her old life has ended but cannot yet see clearly what comes next. It combines my personal story, practical coaching strategies, faith, and the lessons I learned while rebuilding my own life. It is not a book about pretending the hard parts did not happen. It is about deciding that they will not have the final word.

Your comeback will not look exactly like mine. It should not. But you can learn to recognize the season you are in, take your next right step, and create a game plan for the life you want to build.

You do not have to see the whole court from where you are standing. You simply have to be willing to take the next step.

Your transition may have changed your life, but it does not get to end your story.

It may be where your comeback begins.

Toni Thrash is the Chief Comeback Starter. A certified life coach and founder of Toni Thrash Coaching, she knows firsthand the emotional and spiritual challenges women face walking through life transitions. Toni helps overwhelmed women get off the bench and back into the game with a clear and compelling game plan, strategic priorities, and the support they need to build the life God has next.

Before stepping into life coaching, Toni spent years coaching basketball and tennis—and the transition felt like a natural next play. She holds a B.S. in Human Development and Family Studies from Texas Tech University and has been a Certified Life Coach Practitioner (CCF) since 2015. Toni is the host of the Start Your Comeback podcast, available wherever you listen. She lives in Frisco, Texas, and loves hiking, camping, and playing pickleball—though she’d prefer just about any sport over baseball. She’s a proud mom to two sons, Taylor and Cameron, a grateful mother-in-law to Jordan, and “TT” to her grandson Barrett.

This book is not a motivational pep talk. It’s your game plan. You’ll learn how to:

• Recognize the phase you’re in and stop making decisions from the wrong one
• Rebuild your identity with clarity, grit, and grace
• Overcome the emotional landmines of doubt, loneliness, anger, and shame
• Create a personalized comeback strategy rooted in faith, not fear
• Get off the bench and back into the life God designed for you